Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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