If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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