how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
