I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
