"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
