; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize