wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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