I've blown a few things in my day
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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