We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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