was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
