i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
