3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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