you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
