how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize