it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just sucked dick on a ferry
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
