You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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