Sponge bath it is.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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