Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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