fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize