my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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