So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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