I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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