The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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