Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you