I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
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well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
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Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.