alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
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I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.