I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night