why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue