Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
