4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
