The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
