Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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