i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize