My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
