is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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