Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
