I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize