Heybabeimwearingurpanties
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
