on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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