Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
