Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
whose ass print is on the piano?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
