You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.