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• (323): View more from California

  Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.

  (562): View more from California

  The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt

  (323): View more from California

  fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent

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• (914): View more from New York

  Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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• (510): View more from California

  I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard

  (1-510): View more from California

  Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab

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• (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon

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