I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
