I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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