he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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