There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize