everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
