I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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