he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize