Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
