I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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