Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
