just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want nice things and good sex
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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