Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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