I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize