it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
