so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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