How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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