why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
