Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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