Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
