i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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