The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
