No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I'm at about main and main street
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
