I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
